unpredictable journal

31 October 2005

My Jap name

My japanese name is Ishimaru Kumiko, what's your's? Check it out below...

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I hope I'll luv myself more

10:17

Haven't sleep, thinking of my chalet stuffs

Woke up at around 7pm yesteday till now still haven't sleep. Haha, guess I'm used to it being a night cat. Wahaha... jialat better get sleep soon.

Chalet confirmed 32 people coming and plus my family members, heex. Below are the list of people coming to my chalet

Primary:

1) Hui Juan

2) Sheng Khai

3) Kelly

4) Wan Ling

Secondary

5) Ben

6) Ken

7) JJ

8) Shi Ming

9) Jock Siang

10) Anthony

11) Wei Zhi

12) Jasmine

13) Joey

14) Li Yun

15) Hui Fung

16) Agnes

17) See Yao

Cellist

18) Mu He

19) Jolene

20) Percie

21) Michelle

22) Jasmine

23) Pei Shan

Ite Clementi

24) Leng Yee

25) Gina

26) Teng Ying

27) Pei Zhen

28) Zhi Yi

29) Mei Ling

30) Julia

Ite Simei

31) Michelle

32) Ying Yeong

33) Chew Hau

Not confirm

34) Durga

35) Jing Jing

36) Kevin

Not coming [16]

Soo Khim

Qin

Hui Hui

Carol

Mei Jun

Li Hui

Audrey

Ryan

Elgin

Chong Hwee

Ger

Jun Lan

Xiu Zhi

Shui Qing

Malene

Pi Ling

Haix... si bei bo liao, that's why lor. Anyway, friend who're coming to my chalet, pls come at 6pm on that day orh? We start off with BBQ first, then my food will arrive at 7pm plus bahx, cutting cakes at 7.40pm like that.

My food order list

Fried Rice

Fried Bee Hoon

Curry vegetable

Sambal fish ball

Wu Xiang

Beancurb

Mc Nuggets

My BBQ item

Chicken Wings

Hotdog

Satay

Otah

My dessert

Mango Pudding

Salad

My drinks

Longan

Pepsi bottle

Packet drink

My cakes

Mango/Fruit cake

Coco Exotic

Hm... don't know wanna fried fish fritters and stringray in foil or not. Haha... friends give suggestion please! Thanks...

Should I invite him... ? Contradicted

I hope I'll luv myself more

08:26

30 October 2005

Yesterday night was rather okay though only have the 3 of us doing packing. Haha... manage to do 8.4K can consider not too bad already. New supervisor was kinda good, haha... he give briefing and that's it an hour gone. Suppose to be 15 mins break, he give us 30 mins break. And time is not up yet, he called us not to do any more and sit down and rest. Haha... but if you're late, if you don't meet his expectation, he'll be nasty. Guess Kelvin was the first to be said by him norhx. Haix... sad norhx...

The china girl her bag was lost. So today go back, everyone has to empty their bag lol. But in the end, still haven't found yet she has to wait till Monday when they have look through the VCR.

And why must I be responsible for the punch card? Haix... May maybe not coming on Monday and just so coincidence that is the collection of punch card for calculating of salary for the month ended. Haha... on the 7th gonna take salary le norhx... haha... happy.

Hm... very tiring norhx... wanna sleep le but kor kept chit chatting with me till I don't know what I wanna update le. Haix...

Maybe later going to JP norhx... haha... I wanna go there buy things... \

Updated

Yesterday mom didn't cook dinner again, then I was like so mad at her cuz she should at least woke me up earlier to ask me go buy dinner mahx. Then some more yesterday work 8pm de, transport come at around 7pm like that so definitely not enough time to do much things when I woke up at 6pm right? Then she ask me to eat bread then I don't want lor, didn't even drink the cup of milo. I know I'm driving her nuts but sigh... I'm like this de what, princess attitude arh?

Then went to Jp mac, bought a fish burger and a reg ice milo cost me 5.15 bucks sey, so damn ex. Sigh... if everytime like this arh, I think I'm gonna spend 50 bucks on dinner for another 2 more weeks, so damn e shitty lol.

Haix... conflict conflict conflict, it seems like every factory there're always conflict between everyone, so damn e sianz. Haix...

Bought breakfast for family today but who knows that my dad had his breakfast himself at GP. Haix... don't know did he finish it up at a later time not cuz I slept le. Haha...

Alamak... also don't know why my mom so gullible, she went to buy nutritional supplement for 300 over bucks nehx... so damn ex norhx.

Haix... e toopid brother always like this, people using com he also wanna use. Haix... iv I say don't wanna lend, he gonna give attitude again le. So damn e shitty la.

Haix... Ji's aware about my plan already, not participating in the SY concert, haix... he asked me to call him, but I sitll don't ve the guts to call him lol. Haix... a later time bahx... sianz...

Not giving up on cello but not going to excel in it. Just going to play it during leisure time, practice it iv I've the time lor, that's all. I dont' wanna be a pro, is like so stressful lol. Haix... sad sad sad norhx...

Chalet, all so damn e shitty frenz... ask them confirm their attendance all don't want. First time the confirmed attendance and the second time is not the same norhx. Haix... intend to call 50 plus ppl, but I think only 40 ppls say can come, but the second time confirmed attendance was like only 30 ppls left arh? Haix... vexed lor... I need the confirmed attendance mahx, cuz need to cater food lol, haix... so shitty of those ppl who haven't confirm their attendance de.

Haix... haix... haix... haix... haix...

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:26

29 October 2005

Fun working with him

Yesterday loads of work to do, was doing packaging of Motorola Handphone Cover, so rush, but was kinda excited yar? He did the packing and I uses scothch tape to seal it before bringing it over to the line to run. Haha... 4 persons doing that and prepare for 2 lines, hoo... siong nehx. Haha... but very happy work with him and Romeo, cuz lotta laughters. Haix... feel sad for him, cuz he kena cut, bleed... haix... must be more careful mahx...

During break he came over to disturb me arh, whack him then know... think that me good to be bullied arh? This siao kia, asking me whether got 50 bucks small change for him or not. If you ask me earlier on before I went to JP, maybe I still have lor. But of course, no ones will bring so much money to work de mahx... indeed a siao kia right?

Girls go ladies also wanna ka jiao, shit him. He's just a lao di kou, switch off the light and stands outside of the ladies, si bei bian tai... then when he saw me walked out, he apologized arh? Haix... nothing better to do... Haix... used to it. He's such a bo liao.

Oh yah, mummy didn't cook yesterday night. Then also didn't go and buy dinner for me. When she asked Vedelene to go and buy, is too late for me. Especially when I took half an hour to shower. And it seems like I'm so damn e suay, cuz walked half way of the stair, then I recalled then I forgotten to bring my key. Then when I was about to board the bus, I discovered that I forgotten to bring my ez-link card. So ran all the way back home to haunt for it. Diao... actually can use coins for bus but we need to exchange pass before entering the factory lor, so that's why I bo bian gotta run back home. Haix... then was going to be late for work, so took cab there and went to watson to buy things and ran to the taxi-stand there to wait for my transport. Haix... tiring lol. Sweat nehx... smelly lol.

Hm... yesterday was Kelly, Hui Xin last day bought her chocolates... haha... one buck nia... and she's happy then good lor. Haha... secretly left one rocher for me arh... but I can't eat lol, cuz sore throat, no sound le. Heex...

Today the aunty used to take care of us are not coming. Haix... then only left me and her. Sianz... we everything also don't know de, cuz we're spoon feeded by her mahx... then out of the bule she say she's not coming today, Monday and Wednesday nehx, so jialat, how? Scare we're too slow ley... haix... she ask me to takecare of the rest ley, shit man. Scare later they say me act big sey only. Haix...

Mention of her make me nuts. Finished our lots at around 7am, so still early and the QA asked us to help her seal the box. Then Kelvin one person, so I went to help him norhx. He teaches me how to do it, but I think I'm still very slow, so ask her to help me but she sort of giving me attitude norhx. Haix... she wanna go over to the other side to do boxes, but that side have Mable and Jemaine le mahx... haix... so sianz...

Then sort of everything also follow me, diao... no own opinion, very sianz this kind of friend I don't like. I eat, she eat, I sleep, she sleep, I don't wanna wear jacket, she also don't wanna wear... etc... haix... so sianz...

Hm... she was asking me whether wanna meet out earlier to go NTUC fairprice to look for my chalet things or not. Haix... I see how first lor... cuz see now is already 1116, still awake cuz just now washing my socks, shirt lol, that's why. Haix... cum tonight working 8pm not 9pm. Haix... so must have sufficient sleep norhx.

Haha... second kor didn't know what's blogger. Haha... everytime he saw me updating my blog, asking me what's so fun about that, nothing to play what. Haha.. of course nothing to play lahx... haix... tired norhx... cum sleepy... going to sleep soon le. Takecare everyone.

I hope I'll luv myself more

10:54

28 October 2005

Thinking too much

Yesterday lotta things to do, almost doing packing the whole day. Haha, how I wish everyday could be like this. Oh yah, by right I should have set off earlier to JP yesterday night but I failed. So today guess gonna wake up pretty early le.

Wa biang a, kinda r_____ to talk to h**. Cuz *** talk non-stop sey, my ears so tired. Haix... sianz hopefully tonight won't be doing the same DJ with h**

Tired, very tired norhx... going to sleep soon. The keyboard so dirty, sigh... he don't even bother to clean it. Haix... everythings also wait for me to do. Haix... even the computer table was so messy, he also can tahan... haix... felt so envious. Hm... 14 Nov will be my last day. So on the 15, I'll go home and shower and take a long long sleep. At night going to do manicure plus nail arts. Then if possible, if I've the money, wanna go and do my hair style so on the 16 Nov I can appear to be little 'princess' norhx. Haha... don't vomit k?

Hm... guess I think too much already. Haha... he cooked AI XIN BIAN DANG for her worx! Haha... but anyway, they prepared dinner for one another, sometimes the whole gang. Anyway, whatever it's, as long as they're happy. Haha... afterall, he's only 16yrs old who had just completed his N. Haha... hopefully he continue his studies norhx... if not very wasteful lol.

That's about all... tired... sleeping time

I hope I'll luv myself more

10:33

27 October 2005

Running out of money

Hey anyone's bother to help me? I'm running out of money to use. Guess that time I work at Alpha Log salary's gone! Sianz... took out 250 bucks for dad cuz 100 bucks is for my chalet 150 bucks I lent it to him. But orh, he might not return me, see his attitude today I know already. He accidentally close the door when Pearl's fingers is still there, then of course she cried and then he nag and scolded her, sianz... no money to use also cannot like this what. Haix...

The worse thing is that, it seems like factory left with not much things to do? And morning shift stopped for 3 days. But one funniest thing was that, they're hiring 70 people in very soon. Cuz they wanna open up till 4 lines, currently 2 lines only. Cuz they wanna hit 15k one day, mine you we're doing 5k one night now, imagine with another 2 more lines and all are new people, do you think we're able to hit 15k target?

Working there, days pass by very fast. Everytime when I woke up from sufficient sleep, is time to work le. When there're many things to do, time really files fast. Break, break and break then go home le. This kind of feeling is so good, so great.

Today gotta set off early, cuz I wanna go JP buy something lol. So guess is about time to go get changed and also pack bag and then go out of house le. Hopefully later I'll saw him... bleahx... just wanna be friend with him lol, so don't think too much.

Oh yah, before I forget, I'm putting on weights, so is time to go on diet. So now I plan to eat only dinner. Shit... If I'm going to eat bread at 1.30Am, then still buy breakfast and eat and at night eat again, of course put on weights cuz usu me only eat dinner nia. Haha... so better don't buy breakfast le. Haix... hard to slim down nehx... =(

That's about all... take care everyone.

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:01

Hopefully he's not having a crush on me

Met him during work and think a few days back when he's asking his friends whether they've pen to lend him not. I overheard what he said and it seems like none of his friends has it, so I offered mine to him. And his friends were all like so "happy"?

My impression of him was that no matter everytime we need to Q up to change pass before entering, punch card and sign in at the sign in book, there's none he Q up for all these. Always cut Q and that's usu I'll ask him to Q up in a kidding tone. And from there we chatted bit by bit.

Till yesterday night, we get to talk a little more than normal (usu talk when we're going back). Maybe it was because we had nothing to do, sitting down there chit chatting bahx. Haha... he's not that shy, but had a bad habit, loves to stare at people. Not a side stare, but looking at you for a moment. And when I ask him what he's looking at, he'll just use both his hands to rub his face and say nothing. Haha... or sometimes, he'll say me CHAO AH LIAN... then ask me is it from BHD... shit lor. I tell him rice can be any how eat but definitely not words lol! Haha... later me kena BHD ppl beat up how? You come and save me arh? Haha...

Then when he's chatting with Karen, I was sitting right infront of him. Guess Karen was joking with him that wanna be his gf, but if I didn't remember wrongly, he did said that everyones have no chance except her, finger pointing directly at me. Then after a while, he said... "mei you mei you, kai wan siao". Then I was like stunned... diao... (o_oll) haha...

Anyway, hopefully he's not having a crush on me. Sigh... this kind of thing don't come when you're pending but when you're not, all come at one go. Just the two of them is enough... well, both are nice, one smoke, one don't. One young, and one's older than me. One's love to play while one's love to work. One's tan, one's fair... oh gosh... both of them are just lots different but one thing that I can be sure of, that they're similiar is their height. They're extremely tall and they're nice, so nice and good in sweet talking... Haix... vexed.

So tiring yet not yet sleepy. But still gonna 've a shower before sleep. Wondering should I catch movies with girls. Also not sure which movie they wanna catch, if they're watching, then think I only can have a little sleep, oh well let's talk about it provided that I can sleep lol. Haha...

Yesterday work so sianz, learning malay from Hartini. Haha... learnt quit a few lol... happy.

That's about all...

Missing you...

I hope I'll luv myself more

07:29

26 October 2005

Sianz...

Yesterday night was like working till so siao... never end work. Just sit down there for 5mins like that, then the uncle (Ah Tan) kept ordering us to do work. And the worse is, he asked me to empty the dust bin, diao (o_oll) cuz is extremely de dusty lol. Sianz... rather wash the toilet bowl lol.

Just reached home and second kor told me that he lost his N7610 when he took cab to find Zhong Wei. Haix... he owns two phones and why must it be N7610 and not N7250? Anyway, he's nuts, quarreled with dad this morning and they almost fight, then elder brother scolded him and so guess he was just too implusive that he said he don't wanna work any more. So elder kor called the boss and told him that his brother (second kor) don't wanna work le lor. Haix...

Saying from the bottow of his (second kor) heart, I knew he really wish to work but just because he was full of anger, he acted implusively. Sigh... now he's jobless cum he's p______ w__ t____ s_____ see le also thinks that he's beyond cure.

Bought him breakfast and he said he's not eating, sianz... everytimes like this. Bought for him, he's not going to eat, but when I didn't buy his share, he wanna to have it. Sianz... really so sianz lol.

The dust in factory really making me so sick. I'm sick with cough and I think the air con is too cold for me. I feel so breathless, so difficult for me to breath is worse like asthma? My nose had been running flu and throat had been itchy for days... and now my right eye's so painful. Sigh... So I really felt so envious of second to have such a nice job but refused to work. Or rather I should say, he shouldn't have acted that implusively

I hope I'll luv myself more

10:18

25 October 2005

Quick Update

Work till 8am this morning all because of the line people, they made mistakes. Diao...

Hm... quick update. Can bring own food to my chalet haha... glad. Haix... wanna update blog also cannot, cuz not enough time for me to write lol. Hm... that's about all le.

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:23

24 October 2005

Chalet booked, double storeys

Thought that dad forgotten his promise, but he didn't. Haha, so yesterday went down there with dad and her to book the chalet. Finally, is settle. But now my greatest fear is that, they say no outside catering is allow, what does that means? I can't even bring my own food in? Shit, bloody hell lol. Make me so vexed nia...

But I'm happy really happy... even dad's happy for me. Haha... I uses his visa card cuz can get a cheaper price, 80bucks for 2D/1N. Then supposely I should 've return him back, but guess what? He say no need, he sponsore me but of course, I don't wish to lah... cuz he gotta pay all utilities bills mahx...

Work wise still okay but I think I'm gonna fall sick norhx. Cuz night shift, not yet used to it and also the air con there, super cold! I'm chilling... freezing... throat not feeling well, but guess drink more water will be okay bahx... hopefully. If really wanna fall sick, then wait till school re-open then sick bahx... DA PING YI CHANG...

Working 9pm tonight hopefully tomorrow morning is able to go back at 6am... haha... cuz tiring lah, though after 6am is calculate as OT rate lol.

Btw, they're looking for female who can work long term. Anyone interested, contact me lol.

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:18

23 October 2005

Sianz...

Wow... it had been two months plus since I last practice cello and today when I go back for CC practice, I realise that it's not so easy to give up on something especially when you still have the great passion over it.

Practice was like so boring but kinda funny, glad. =)

Dad, where's he? He's not at home but he promise me to go down and book chalet today de nehx. So damn e shitty, where he has gone to? My goodness..

May called in the morning say today change to 8pm, diao... yesterday afternoon say 9pm then today change again. If later I wait at the bus stop and the transport bus came at 8pm plus near 9pm, then I think I'll call Terrace to help me look for day work le. Although this job, very 'lax and easy, also high pay I still don't really fancy it norhx...

Haix... actually just now wanna go buy lunch de, but when I went up to the foodcourt, I saw her. Sianz 1/2... then never buy go so went to find mummy but she's not there, totally sianz le. So went to prime market to buy cup noodle norhx... then saw him. Wahahah... happy lol. Bleahx... Haha... anyway, mom's is back home... so sianz...

Hm... guess that's about all le bahx...

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:47

22 October 2005

What does it hint?

Today's horoscope bottom line for scorpio: Use your intuition to start deep conversations with people you're curious about.

In details: You're tired of the same old, same old. The routine. You're so tired of it that in the middle of your intense little heart, you're quite sure that if you don't do something to change it soon, you won't be any good to anyone. Not yourself, not your loved ones and certainly not the people who depend on your keen intuition and impeccable work skills to get them through the day.

The outcome when insufficient sleep

Cries...

To be extact, I only have 4hours of sleep cuz nooon then went to bed. So now my eyes were like so difficult to open wide arh?

Oh yar, the purpose of blogging. By right, today's working de, but then just now May phoned me telling me that not working on saturday but sunday. Haha... even better, higher rate pay lol. Hm... just now went to buy dinner and guess who I saw? Wen Hau!!! Shit... so scare of him. Haha... but I told him that I put the dog at my aunt's house lol... is really what. Haha... next time free then bring it back for him to see.

Hm... so tiring and moody norhx...

Haix... missing euu...

I hope I'll luv myself more

18:29

Yesterday night was like so funny cuz I thought I gonna be late for the transport bus and I actually have the thought of taking cab to JP but luckily god saved me, cuz the bus arrived and I saved the money yar?

Meet her at 6.55pm but couldn't find her, so called her and she still slowly walking towards the control station, diao... I'm so worried sick that we'd miss the bus yet she...

Reached there, then saw no one we know there called Raymond and checked with him May's no. Hoo... luckily the transport not yet arrive yet so we 'lax 'lax again. No worry... and guess what? We're late cuz the bus arrived at 7.35pm... when we're ready to start work, is already 8.20pm... sianz... late for 20mins... that's gone my OT pay...

During the one hour break, 1.30am to 2.30am... haha... believe that everyone's sleeping soundly at this hour. Hm... chatted about something with her and she again reminds me of you. She was k/d with you that day... saying that my bf was even much more good-looking than you. And was so surprised that you even wanna know my bf. Haha... if you come my birthday chalet, you'll get to know him... haha...

Really like to know more about me? Haha... I bet u'll regret...

Haix...

Tired... going off to sleep le...

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:06

21 October 2005

Elated

Yoz I'm back from work... haha... so happy. Hm... yesterday I at around 9pm I rejected Brian's lobang, cuz his pay is too low, 48bucks/night not worth it. Then I think he angry with me and so his colleague Terrace phoned me and ask me to work at least for a few days but I kept on reject his lobang lol. Then I apologized and hang up my call le.

Not long after that, he called me and told me another factory requires night shift, paying 75.75/night. Wow sey, a gigantic difference of 27.75 bucks lol... luckily I celver and reject Brian lobang. Then was kinda rush lol, Raymond think the boss he meet us at 11.30pm at Boon Lay MRT Taxt Stand there lol. But end up he came at 12.40am... so damn the shitty hor?

So went to buy ice milo from Mc... just so lucky of us, cuz they about to close, mid-night 12am le. Haha... but still so nice of the staff say that we still 've one more minute to go before 12am. Haha... bought a small glup one. Heex...

Wow... if I work everyday like this arh... think I really can brought home 2k/mth lol. Haha... although is tiring, but is just only one month and I hope I'm able to pull through lol. Haha... *winks* Being motivated by money... beside the job is just so damn the easy, pasting the motorola logo, but have to be very accurate lol... haha... that's about all. Going to shower and that's it, sleep all the way lol. Haha... tonight working again. Btw, the two of them were fired... sobbie... left me and gina... luckily... cuz they couple mah... da qing ma qiao... bleahx...

Missing you...

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:01

20 October 2005

Working tonight

Hey so happy... Brian found a job for me already at JE. So happy but something sad is, gotta work night shift and pay wasn't that high but I think if work OT, that'll be a lot, better than staying at home and be a slacker.

Details: JE

Time: 1030PM to 730AM

Anyone interested, please let me know worx... haha...

Hm... that's about all bahx... my computer gonna burn already... haha... takecare everyone!

I hope I'll luv myself more

17:00

Wasted a day

Now is my vacation and guess what? I slept till 2pm again and guess tonight gonna be online surfing of nothing till 3am plus le.

Brain called me in the morning, but I missed his call and I thought he get me a job but he just called to check how long is my holiday. So sianz to heard this from him: "One month arh? Orh, very difficult but nevermind I'll get back to you again". Diao... (o_oll) But hopefully he found a job for me asap, I wanna earn money lol... otherwise can't survive nehx... haha...

Another call missed was from Kelly, wondering why she's calling me. Phoned her back but didn't answer my call... so now pending for her to call lol...

Sleep, wash up and then be online is gonna be my daily schedule if I'm still jobless... haha... so sianz... then you guys won't be able to catch up my journal cuz I'll crap a lot and update numerous of entries per day... haix... so sianz... life's like so meaningless...

Actually wanted to practice cello, but see, my bow is still not back again. Sigh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:13

19 October 2005

I see that they loved me

She was sick and dad wasn't free to book the chalet for me this evening. He was thinking of going down tomorrow. It seems like my mood of having a chalet is back again? Within such a short hours, cuz second kor given me 50 bucks is not the first time he gave me money but is the first time he gave me money for my BIRTHDAY! Thanks kor...

Elder brother was saying that if he have the money he'd wish to give me 100 bucks for my birthday. But maybe he's helping dad's out with all bills, so was a little difficult for him norhx... haha... but he said that he'll buy me the 2kgs of cake! Haha... drool... Hm... jie always have the same idea as elder kor. Haha... still could remember that time second kor birthday, he bought him a wallet and jie intends to do so too, but in the end, they shared. Haha... so this time round, not surprised. Jie wanna buy me swensens durian ice cream cake but I doubt is nice yar? So... I asked her to buy me the coco exotic from four leafs... haha... yeah... saved up almost 150 bucks yar? Haha... I felt very happy nehx... cuz arh... is my first time receiving gifts from them... 18 years...

I think mom's helping me to pay for the food that I asked her boss to cook arh? Haha... then dad was helping me out with pudding... see... everyone contributed in the family... so touched. Didn't know why, tears rolling down the cheeks... u believe? Haha... me not that sentimental lol. Hm... but really appreciated what they've given me... loves... and I saw it... Most of the time we just didn't know how to express it out... that's all...

Hopefully this chalet is gonna be a successful one in the sense of me manage to book it and is a happy and memorable one. If I really manage to book it, I wanna to have a special thanks speech time... I wanna to let all my friends know that I really loved them and my family... heex... enough of all these... haha... hopefully my wish come true norhx...

Hm... I might be considering to book costa sands at east coast there de, cuz there still have double storey but of cuz, more expensive lol. Haha... and some more package came in 3D/2N at $138... $30 charge if upgraded to double storey per night. So damn shitty, with everything added, think will exceed 200 over bucks bahx... diao... think pasir ris better yar? Haha... but I'll consider again lol...

22 days, you still remember me...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:27

Have I done wrong ?

Today's AFD paper is extremely hard for me and I doubt I could score well and that's gone my wish. =( She's sick and didn't accompany me to book chalet, that's it, gone another two wishes. In summary, 3 wishes gone... haha... it doesn't matter I think I'd go to pub and celebrate yar with bunch of my friends... haha... fulfilled one of my wish yar? =)

It depends currently me not in the mood whether to have a birthday chalet or not. Cuz guess I had said something that I shouldn't to mom. I should have hided all these from her, but apart from that, I really couldn't tolerate them any more.

I've read his journal, that's what he wrote:

"Jialin jie jie just told me today that she won’t be performing “fantasy” (cello solo) with us. Nor will she be performing for “young rising star” concert. Sigh… I don’t wish to comment too much I supposed. Given this situation, I guess it’s better to respect her decision, than to comment. She’s a tough lady, who won’t give in so easily. Mind you, tough as in.. as stubborn as mild steel. I am not featuring her as some strong wonder woman. "

Haha... together with the sad midi that I'm listening to and thinking of how "nice" he had treated us and being such a nice and wonderful cello teacher, am I really gonna to disappoint him? But be more realistic, I'm really not fit to be into musician and so why bother to waste so much time in it? Sigh... when do I've the courage to tell him? Should I persevere?

I just old mom about my plan the usu one, half schooling and half studying and not wanting to take allowance from dad. But she told me, just take if he gives... when he runs out of money, then drew out from bank for him. Haha... otherwise, he'll spent it all...

Sigh... there're lotta things I really don't know how to put it into words... all I feel like doing is to phone someone to see if he/she's free to accompany to beach... lending me his/her ears and shoulder for me to cry on... haix...

I'm stressed out...

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:47

I'm tired but I couldn't get to sleep

Handphone bill is killing me again, another 60 over bucks! My goodness, is late now I'm tired but I couldn't get to sleep. I got my template changed, thought I could prefer white background but it always seems like I get it bored over a period of time. Haha, anyway this new template was look pretty cute for me, especially when your mouse hover the girl and the boy. And saw the word above them "Love me iv u dare"? Haha... best describe... ... ... lol... haha...

Nah... me not in the mood to do revision for AFD, but also can't get to sleep, maybe do a little of revision before I went to bed bahx... hopefully tomorrow's paper won't be too difficult lol... haha.. .pray hard for me norhx...

Hm... guess I slept till 2pm yesterday bahx, that's why I'm still so energetic. Tomorrow maybe going down to book chalet norhx... depends bahx... hopefully she's free lol ...

I hope I'll luv myself more

02:37

18 October 2005

Admiring myself

Tomorrow's having AFD paper, extactly 12hours that I'm left with yet I'm still here slacking, my goodness... admire myself so so so much.

Wondering what's wrong am I today, how can I do such a silly thing. But come to think of it, is really funny and... ... ... ... ... my god... Haha... guess I'm nuts yar?

They are alike aren't they? Is extactly one month plus one day that I've met him nexh... now then discover... haha... 10 more days, his birthday, giving me hints arh? Haha... see if I can find any job or not, if can, buy you something or give you a treat lol... promise me to study hard for your Os k?

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:05

So damn e careless!

Slept till 2pm when mom came back and woke me up, so damn e shitty. *Bloody hell* Tomorrow gonna have my last paper, Accounting Fundamental (AFD) yet I still slept till so late. And see, only re-attempt 3 questions and I'm here sitting right infront of the com updating my blog, so damn de sickening. So sianz...

I'm here was because of my mistakes... just can't help stop making mistakes when doing accounts. Sigh... especially bank reconciliation statement. Well, last time it use to be my strong area whereby I'd score full mark for that particular question but now, it seems like the vice-versa. Haix... anyone can help me?

Doubt I'd do well for tomorrow's paper cuz afterall I lack of practices. Sianz... but still 'll try my best and do lol...

Haix... that's about all...

I hope I'll luv myself more

15:24

17 October 2005

Shit my chalet gonna gona if I'm not going to book it asap.

There're currently 30 units available for single storey on 16 Nov. So shitty, if I'm not going to book it asap, it'll soon be occupied. But frankly speaking, I wanted the double storeys one, but now don't have le. So sianz... why must I having exam now? Everything's so shitty. Spoil my mood only lor.

Haix... so frustrated... don't know whether dad's free on Wednesday evening or not, cuz wanna ask him go and book le, don't wanna wait any more... ! I'm kiasu lol... but is less than one month... so not really kiasu, can consider as quite 'lax le me...

Today by right should have syco combine practice but me not going cuz going to shower and do reivision for AFD le. Haix... wednesday also have sectional practice, me also not going. Haix... going to rest at home first. Anyway, I've decided not to participate in the young star concert le, so stressed and frustrated lol... so sianz...

Tell my mom about the chalet vancacy she say if no more, celebrate at home. But guess what? I rather go and die also don't wanna stay at home and celebrate. Think that we're living in bungalow or what arh? So damn the shitty... and think that your HDB flat is gigantic enough to accomodate 45 persons? If you all think that travelling to there is too far, then is perfectly fine for you people not too come. Anyway, I just wanna have fun with my friends and having a memorable 18th birthday nia... don't always think that I'm showing off anything. You can say whatever you wish but don't belittle of me. I'm using my own money and none of your money, so just come if you wish, otherwise, get it zipped... don't like ppl to criticize me...

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:38

End of another paper, a theoretical one

Plan to wake up early in the morning 5am de, but then too lazy to wake up lol, so slept till 8am. Took a hot shower and then went out to school. During my journey to school in the mrt, a little girl cried non-stop. Despite the loudest volumn I could afford to switched to, also can't concentrate on doing my revision for BFD. So my 1hour plus was like wasted?

But I guess it was my luck as the paper was extremely easy to score yar? I mean if you really studied hard for it, I'm sure you'll score. Haha...

Hm... now left with my AFD... hoo.. gotta practice lotta for this paper till I'm damn familiar with all the format. Kinda afraid nehx... haha...

Elder brother wanna sponsor me the 2kgs cake for my chalet ley. Haha... anyway, I decided to held if there're still vancancies on that day. Haha... but don't know when I'm free to go down and book leh... haix... so vexed... shouldn't let that bothers me so much ar?

Hm... guess that's about all lol... tired... wanna sleep le...

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:55

16 October 2005

3rd entry of the day, taking a break from revision

Slacked all the way until 4pm plus then start my revision. Haha... still left 4 units to be covered, infact 3 units all on satistic. Unit 2 is more for recap I think shoud be alright if I study still dawn... haha...

Hm... dad very de damn noisy de, switched on the radio so loud. Luckily I've my mp3 with me, if not I rather go out to study and not stay at home lol. Haix...

So surprised that he still remember me. Haha... glad lol... kinda miss those days yar? But is already past...

Going off to study le all the way unless later my mom asked me to accompany her to go buy fruits then I take a break again lol. Haha... slack arh? Haha... hopefully paper won't be too difficult for me. And my the questions I predicted that it'll be out, is out tomorrow. Haha... cuz I didn't study hard but studied smartly...

I hope I'll luv myself more

17:08

Vexed and contradicted

Hey back again, it seems like there's nothing much that I can surf. =(

Was being woke up by a call from SQ, think he forgotten that I took leave till 24 Oct. 'cuz he was asking whether had I finish my exam or not, asking me to go back for practice.

But was glad that he phoned, otherwise I'd slept till noon when mom came back from work, by then sure get whacked. Heex...

Dad was wanting to borrow money from me and I lent it to him. To be honest, I was kinda afraid that he might not return nehx. But my greatest fear is that, when there's a first time, there's a second time lol. But how can I say no to him? He's my dad...

Well, if I woke as a part-timer now... I don't mind giving him 150 bucks every month, cuz I know is hard for him to pay all the bills all by himself. Not that mom don't wanna help him, but mom also have to buy all the ingredients for dinner and each time she spent more than she earn, so definitely no saving de mah. Haix... so vexed. That's why I really wish to have a part-time job that I can study and work at the same time. Then support myself in the sense of don't wanna take allowances from dad for my school. But I can consider not too bad le, cuz I think from now onwards, I gotta pay my own school fees. So that means, if I really have a wish to go to poly, then I'll have to start saving now. But how much can I save with a mode allowance of 5 bucks/day? Unless dad's in good mood, just like he used to be when I was taking my N level, almost 10 bucks everyday... maybe that time he working OT, that's why lol... haix...

Anyone can help me find a job near my house? Giving me a hourly pay of 5 bucks will do le. Anything less than that, I don't think is worth to work lol. I rather spend my time to study at home norhx... haix... vexed...

Anyway, felt so envious of second brother. Elder brother woke up early in the morning 7 plus like that to buy him breakfast nehx... first time my elder kor so hard working norhx. Today's sunday nehx, so rare that he'll wake up so early de. Haix... bias... opps... shows that I'm jealous... yea I don't deny. So what? Just felt that everyones at home favour him more lol. Spoon-feed him also, so sianz... anyway... my future daughter's name Rui Yi and Shi En... and son will be Jun Ming bahx...

Raining cats and dogs... mom's clothing haven't dry yet, don't know wanna bring in mah. Haix... everytime bring in, she would say I should have left it outside. But everytime I left it outside, she would ask me why I didn't bring in the clothing when rains? Sigh... contradicted...

Well, is really time to do revision already...

So vexed and contradicted

I hope I'll luv myself more

12:11

Slacking again?

Yesterday went pioneer mall to do revision with Kelly, Qin and Fung. From 2pm to 9pm like that, 7hours can you imagine? Haha, but I think we only really concentrate to study for like 3hours or the most 4hours nia... haha... but not too bad le.

Dad made pudding again! Haha... delicious, but I think he added too much water. Nah, 3 times that he had try making it the first time was the most yummilious! Haha... asked him to wake me up when he wanna make pudding but he said he did, but I was sleeping like a pig arh? Haha... but orh, he tries waking me up in the morning 4am nehx... who will wake up? Haha... but not too bad this time round as compare to the second attempt. Cuz mom was saying the first attempt was like too watery? [But for me, that's how pudding should be mahx] so second attempt don't know dad do what to it. Haha... so turn up to be like mango jelly instead of pudding yar? Kinda hard. Hm... so this time round, added too much water into it le. Haha... anyway, proud of my dad lolx...

Hm... actually he can cook many delicious dishes de, but I just lazy to master and he's also lazy to teach me. Whereas mom, normal cooking which will be useful next time I become mummy yar? Haha... thinking too much. Haix... me only interesting in baking cakes, dessert, sushi all these kind of stuffs lol... haha... if I really become mummy, I wanna take up all these courses which I could learn how to bake various types of cakes norhx... haha...

Mention of cakes, guess I'm going to gain weights! =( Shit, recently kept buying cakes, yesterday bought a durian swiss roll. Haha... but is really nice. But fridge still have my favourite cheese stick nehx. Haha... all so fattening cakes... but if the one month holiday, I don't have any job, then I'll wanna go gym lol, who wanna accompany me go? Wanna exercise lol... don't wanna stay at home to sleep and eat nia...

Now is 12PM so extactly 23hours left before my BFD paper ar? Haix... gotta study real smart this time round. Satistic? My goosh, what's that? Haix... so damn weak in calculating mean, mode, and another is what le arh? Haha.... nevermind, later do revision I'll know le.

Actually still 've lots more to crap de, but then... lazy lol... so that's about all...

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:17

14 October 2005

Today meet them out for revision at 11am, end up 1 of them came at around near 12 and another came at around near 1. So the two of us were there chatting quite a lot and did only a little revision. Sianz... couldn't find any friends who can really study together de lol.

Next went to take photo, very ugly lol, cuz first time trying out the new machine. Okay lah, not that bad. Haha... tomorrow meeting our kelly they all for BFD revision, hopefully we really revise norhx, don't wanna waste time lol.

Guess that's about all bahx... tired nehx...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:27

13 October 2005

you remind me of him

Accompanied my mom to GP to buy something to cook for tomorrow's dinner. Then mummy was asking the cashier about the H2O drinks whether there's a promotion cuz the shelves there pasted something like this --> Buy 2 get 1 free. So better check it out before buying mah. Then he said that the promotion ends on Sunday, diao... (o_oll) then today's already Thursday, the paper still there, shit! Haha... but he reminds me of someone cuz he has got a piercing on his left ear. Is just a "thinner" version of him... bleahx...

Tomorrow meeting them out for revision at national library. Very jialat, never been there before, so not very sure how to get there. But got it checked out on the net, so guess shouldn't be too much a problem for me bahx... if really can't find, call them lol. Heex... but walk straight from exit C right? Haha...

Doing AFD revision tomorrow morning when meeting them. Then guess meeting her out for shopping too and then at night, buck up for BFD revision. Haha... can't neglect that, cuz I wanna score A... jia u le...

Not feeling well, so shitty, exam coming nexh!

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:06

Finally end of IT module

Thrilled! Cuz finally is the end of IT module. Today examination was pretty okay for me, so guess shouldn't be too much a problem in scoring A or be prepared for the worse, a B. haha...

I've made up my mind, I'm going to have the chalet but should it be on the weekends or fixed on the date that I've told my friends. Well, I wanna it to be fixed on my actual birthday, but dad say he not free, sianz 1/2. Haix... haha... anyway, I'm giving him a chance to show off his skills and talents. Haha... he's going to prepare mango pudding for my birthday chalet, but of course he gotta practice. So guess this weekends, is my luck again lol... can try and comment about his pudding. Bleahx...

Wow, tired, haven't have my dinner yet, going off in a short while. Finish dinner, gonna start work again. Tml meeting gangs out for revision, after which, they wanna take neo? Sianz 1/2... cuz I very de damn ugly lol. Haha...

Hm, that's about all...

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:22

12 October 2005

Feeling so sleepy though took a 3hrs nap just now. Went to take the balance of my pay, so total earned $214.50 yar? Mom still ask me don't work, haha... 200 over bucks is better than nothing right? But it really shows that my time management is very lousy, cuz haven't been practicing cello and next week 3 SYCO rehearsals, but not going the one on the 17 and 19, taking a break first.

Dad another who wanna borrow money from me. I trust he'll return so I've decided to lend it to him. Sigh, everyone in this household work but didn't have any saving, very jialat isn't it? Hopefully this coming vacation I'd find a temporary full or part time job, at least earn some saving for net and stuffs.

Recently discovered that I spent quite a lot, so is time to save up my allowances le. Sianz... chalet still wondering wanna 've it or not but by this sunday I should 've decide everything or the lastest next wednesday bah... if really want to have it, 'll be asking dad to tag along with me. Heex...

Very sleepy but I still 've one last assignment to practice for OFA before entering the examination venue tomorrow in the afternoon. Hopefully I do well, cuz so far I got an A, so don't wanna Ms Access to pull me down. AFD had been doing quite a lot of practicing so nowadays kinda okay with it. BFD wise, haven't really started revision but able to recap what I've memorised for CAs... so shouldn't be too much a problem.

Current target for first semester

OFA - A

AFD - A

BFD - B

Of course I do hope that I can have a higher aim for BFD. But like I said, haven't really started my revision, so won't know my current standard. So... set it at B...

And yar, guess I'm gonna fall sick really damn soon. Feverish forehead, nose blocked and throat felt damn uncomfortable, but I must not fall sick at this critical period right?

Pray hard for me...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:23

Meet buddy kelly out @ 12 midnight cuz of my stupid brother. Sigh, don't wish to mention, he's just so sickening. So went out to share with kelly till this morning 5am then walk back home till now still haven't sleep.

Now having OFA lesson, only less than 10 persons in class. Very sianz doing the Access, keep on cannot get the answer, but nevermind, go home and try again.

Now is 09:20AM break till 13:00PM for the AFD lesson. Kinda stupid right? Sianz...

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:15

11 October 2005

Revision

Woke up before 6am to have a shower and did some revision for AFD mock test this afternoon. Haha, hardworking right? Actually don't wanna come online but cuz of my internet billing problems, so gotta find the contact number for singnet company. So, that's why I'm here early in the morning.

Nothing much, gonna do my BFD revision already. Meeting YY out for revision on Fri to Mon (5days of revision @ bugis) wow... siong sey... but for the sake of wanting to achieve good results, then I've to sacrifice a little precious time for travelling since one lives in the west and one lives in the east... haha...

I hope I'll luv myself more

08:48

10 October 2005

Revision

Woke up late this morning so didn't go to school, haha. Started my revision since I woke up till now, AFD through out, woo... stressed up. Tomorrow having another mock test, hopefully I'd do well for it.

Guess tomorrow I should starts my BFD revision le, cuz is on the coming monday, less than one week from now, 6days only. Haha... jialat... numerous of chapters to be memorized. Well, this time study hard also can't save me unless I study smart! Predict what's gonna come out for the exam.

I should slowly, slowly forget about you... you're fading away from my mine each an everyday...

Hm... that's all for now. Gonna do revision for bfd le... bleahx...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:50

09 October 2005

The outing was like nothing much? Haha, is worse than what I thought, my goodness. Malene was late as she went to the wrong venus [Changing 3 venues for this outing all because of him]. So when she arrived, we took about 30minutes to settle our dinner, was extremely full yeah! Haha... then went shopping but till half way kevin went off as he said that the shop that we went doesn't suit him, e only guy. Haha...

Before that was meeting her for revision but guess she didn't do much yar? Sigh, if I knew she's not going to seek help from me, then I don't wanna meet her so early, rather stay at home and study, haha. Wondering when she decideds to return me back my money. Haix...

So bored, exam is in one week's time yet I haven't got any motivation to study for it. And still wondering should I be going to school for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow lessons? Haix... so damn bored. So tiring...

Hm... bought one the dog @ only 3 bucks, so cheap and so cute! The dog, rock yar? Haha...

Thinking of someone...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:34

Specially composed, modified on 09/10 @ 7:43AM

Dang wo di yi ci kan dao ni
yi zhong hao mo sheng de gan jue
ni dui wo de hao
wo mei cha jue
dan dang ta kao shi wo de shi hou
wo kai xin de fei shang tian...
wo ye zhu dong le yue le ni
ni ye xiao xiao de dang ying le wo
Dan wei zhe mo na tian ni jue, ni jue mei chu xian?
kan jian wo dui ni de qi wang
ni que zai ci ran wo shi wang
wo bu zhi kai zai deng ni ma
wo zi xiang zhi dao ni hai ai wo ma?
Wei zhe mo wo mei yi ci de zhu dong
Ni que mei you hao hao de ba wo
Dan ni you yi zhi gen ta suo
Ni xi wan wo
Nan dao ni zhen de jiu bu deng yong gan de dui wo shou
Ni ai wo
kan jian wo dui ni de qi wang
ni que zai ci ran wo shi wang
wo bu zhi kai zai deng ni ma
Wo zi zhi dao you yi jing lei le
Composed on 8 Oct 05, 15:48

I hope I'll luv myself more

08:06

Is 4am in the morning that my tummy is so hurt, so woke up couldn't sleep so went surf the net. Here to update my blog lol... hm... nothing much to be updated actually. Later in the afternoon meeting Na's out for AFD revision and at night having pizza with ex-collegues? Haha... hopefully it gonna's be fun!

Creating numerous chances for you but I've got? INFINITE DISAPPOINTMENT

This outing that I planned was partly because of you. But having to travel to there is also because of you and fixing it today was also because of you as I misses you. I had been waiting for this day to come yet you've decided to work and not joining us, there's such a big disappointment in my heart when I heard from her that you couldn't be able to make it. It is not that I just inform you about this outing, I guess I informed you a few weeks before hand. You promised me that you'd turn up but why in the end you still choose to work? Is not everything that you've to listen to her, you've your own right to choose whether to work or not cuz afterall, is meant for you to off on Sunday. Sigh... I'm speechless and I guess I've took my initiative and creating numerous of chances for you but each an everytime, I'd be happily pending but in the end what I've got? Nothing but infinite disappointment. I'm sick and tired of all these perhaps we're not fated to be together bahx... sigh...

I was thinking of inviting you to my chalet but will you come? I doubt so... so I guess I can save my breath...

I hope I'll luv myself more

05:27

08 October 2005

Specially composed

Dang wo di yi ci kan dao ni

yi zhong hao mo sheng de gan jue

ni dui wo de hao

wo mei cha jue

dan dang ta kao shi wo de shi hou

wo kai xin de fei shang tian...

wo ye zhu dong le yue le ni

ni ye xiao xiao de dang ying le wo

Dan wei zhe mo na tian ni jue, ni jue mei chu xian?

kan jian wo dui ni de qi wang

ni que zai ci ran wo shi wang

wo bu zhi kai zai deng ni ma

wo zi xiang zhi dao ni hai ai wo ma?

Composed on 8 Oct 05, 15:48

I hope I'll luv myself more

15:39

Why am I feeling disappointed?

Woke up by brother, asking me to transfer 100 bucks to his account cuz dad own him money haven't pay him yet. Then tonight he wanna go out, no money so... haix... make sure he return back to my on Monday lol.

Wasted about 3hrs on net, haha... was adding testimonials for my friends. Haha... now chatting on the phone with Nana... Haix... was kinda disappointed that he's not going tomorrow, but nevermind lol... we can change venue le...

Later going to katie's birthday, don't know wanna wear what sey. But think casual wear can le bahx... haha...

Hm... going off for revision le...

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:45

07 October 2005

I'm sorry

Supposely today there's an interview with the boss but I didn't turn up as this company is too suspicious already. I'm very sorry to you once and again break my promise but if you had been true to me from the beginning I might be considering to go this afternoon. I'm truly sorry if it affected you.

This Sunday maybe going to book my birthday chalet, 2D/1N. Maybe meeting up Gina in afternoon and then meet them out in the evening at centrepoint. Gonna waste another day for revision.

Sigh, so tiring and so vexed for everything. Results are dropping trememdously, guess is I should work very hard for the one last week before my examination. Not going to look for any job for the time being, I'm exhausted.

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:56